First of all I want to clarify if you like Valentines Day and wish to do something special I absolutely do not judge you, you can go and be romantic (or not) and that is fine. I am glad if something makes other people happy. I just don’t partake because it doesn’t make me happy.
I have never been a terribly romantic girl. My friends know me as the anti-mush person. I’ve always been this way whether I am in a relationship or not. Since meeting The Boyo some mush occasionally seeps through my defences. My friends even once overheard me calling The Boyo honeybunch.. oops. The Boyo accepts that I am not very mushy, he knows he is the more romantic one and that when I do occasionally say soppy things I must really mean them. Haha, poor Boyo. In the past in my single student days I would meet up with my best friend, we’d eat a ridiculous amount of ice cream and watch films, unfortunately we don’t live nearby anymore so these spontaneous film nights happen a bit less. In fact I really must arrange one soon and get some Ben & Jerrys for old times sake.
Anyway back to present day and The Boyo & I.
My idea of what is romantic for us is to do our favourite things; which would consist of going walking in the wilds, going back to somewhere with a cosy fire and eating nice food, doing the crossword and reading books, with a wee dram of whiskey and a glass of Baileys on the go. I have had flowers I think twice from The Boyo in the whole time we have been together. They were very unexpected both times and were lovely and made me very happy. Equally though The Boyo offering to go somewhere with me (like the cinema which I know he doesn’t really like) or suggesting wee weekends away make me all fuzzy and super happy. I think the things we do for each other everyday are probably romantic to me. In fact I’d say the way The Boyo quotes Mrs Doyle “Teaaa Father” and makes me cups of tea every weekend are my favourite romantic gesture.. which is not really romantic .. but it is to me!
Old photo from our early weekends together.
But here is the thing… often these things are unexpected or as I mentioned above they are part of our daily way of showing love and appreciation for each other. Valentines Days is not unexpected…. It is the opposite. To me having a day that says oh ‘you must be romantic today’ actually kills the romance. ‘I’m only being romantic because the calendar says I have to’ doesn’t really make me feel loved. Then there are all the cards, balloons, flowers, chocolates and a bazillion other things that are made in industrial quantities and pushed on us everywhere we go. I don’t need any of those things to feel loved & appreciated and those spontaneous wee acts throughout the year are a million times better.
My Mum thinks I’m a rude besom, my friends chuckle at my ‘anti-mush’ stance and The Boyo doesn’t really mind. We do make a point of doing something on the 3rd of September every year which is our anniversary. This is usually a meal out at a lovely restaurant and a bit of reflection on our time together and our future. Pretty simple but you know the most romantic thing for me is just doing stuff together which makes us happy.
So this Valentines Day I will be away with my Mum and sister and will likely forget that it is even Valentines Day at all. At some point in the next couple of months The Boyo and I will try to have a wee night away as we have both been really busy and will continue to be pretty busy until May at this rate. So a night way will be a lovely treat.
If you do celebrate Valentines Day ponder what makes you really happy as a couple and do something that fits in with that. If you are single but do love Valentines Day why not have a day treating yourself…. After all loving ourselves is very important too!